Re: Only A Month Late

Wed Jan 27, 2021 8:27 am

Yugiri

There was a rising feeling in her chest, it welled up and begged to be let out. A frustration, only instead of being given as criticisms through a rigid image of what she had yearned to be in the past it was something she wanted the satisfaction of genuine release of her ire and frustrations through venomous words. The sharp and antagonistic words, inviting a conflict. No, baiting a conflict only to immediately be recinded and not want to accept the fruits which were results of the seeds she had just so freshly laid out.

"Neither do I, alas that is how it was for me. I will endeavour not to subject you to the same experience I got when you returned, a weird dude in tow."

Was it said through gritted teeth and antagonistically? A little. Yugiri didn't think it was incorrect though. She wasn't the type to just allow someone to suggest things or antagonise her and then pull back. The next words made her actually just pause. Dumbfounded by what she just heard as they rang in her head.

If I'm being honest: yes, I do think you would just wait around for death.

The audacity. From Chidori it angered her even more, a headache that came from her. Wearing at her patience. The presumptious nature in which she came to these conclusions. It was not enough to just sit there on the bed staring at her, she couldn't tell if the image of her slapping Chidori was a mental image or real but the small taste of blood from biting at her teeth in restraint did remind her. The fact that Chidori wasn't on the ground injured told her the answer.

"Problems don't fix themselves. I agree."

She muttered to herself after Chidori had gone, not exactly referring to herself though. Yugiri stood up and sighed, pondering what Rio was up to these days and how she coped without punching someone or something.

The time between Chidori leaving and returning though was enough for Yugiri to return to a sense of calm, forced as it was. It was more akin to her just trying to remember how she acted as a noble and dealing with frustrating nobles. Back when her life was stressful trying to shoulder everything and do everything she could to help her family. It wasn't like her mistakes had been done maliciously or out of spite.

"Is she?"

Yugiri took the child tentatively. It wasn't something she was used to but she held Nakano securely. She had not expected them to be living together, that sounded strange. Not just that but uncomfortable to imagine, she was sleeping with retainer(?) girls while her ex-boyfriend was under the same roof as her? She kind of just stared at Chidori with a bit of concern while holding the sleeping baby against her front.

"Can they walk?"

From anyone else it was a weird question, obviously Yugiri meant it in a more personal to her way. She'd hate if they got to live their lives pitied for some kind of deficit they were born with.

END POST | FLASH BLOSSOM WITHER

Wed Jan 27, 2021 9:07 am

ANNUAL MEETING

Artist: n/a - Song: n/a

"Hehe, about that... It's a bit early for them to be walking. Nakano has started crawling, Yushiro is still a bit reluctant to trying anything new. But I get what you mean, and they're fine at the moment." Chidori had a flash back to memories of Yugiri back when they were children. It was a shame that she was born that way, but Yugiri has seemed to overcome that hurdle, albeit with some odd methods.

"I think. Where Nakano seems like a go-getter and a quick learner, Yushiro is a quiet guy who follows his sister around. He gives me Rio vibes, where he lets Nakano walk all over him but would still be the first one to protect her. It's adorable, however concering. It's likely he'll need some more attention later on, but right now he's still trying to form a personality that is his own so I let him be him."

As Chidori spoke, Nakano began to stir. When her eyes opened, Nakano stared at her aunt with very curious eyes. There was a tint of fear in there, but mainly curiosity. Slowly, her small hands had reached out to grab at Yugiri's hair, being just out of reach.

"Aaa...aaaa..."

"I think she likes you."

Wed Jan 27, 2021 9:25 am

Yugiri

"Oh? What do you mean at the moment?"

She just stared at the sleeping child in her hands. Wondering about their future. Was one parent enough? Well, if their father was here she figured it meant they wouldn't go without but Yugiri assumed that relationship was shaky at best given her sister's earlier showcase and insisting for secrecy.

"Rio's not a pushover."

It popped out to defend Rio, averting her gaze and looking away after it came out. It felt embarrassing to stand up for her over something like that.

"Huh? Oh. Make her go back to sleep."

Yugiri insisted. Looking down at the baby tentatively, she didn't really know how to handle small children. It was never in her head that she'd have to interact with them. Whether it was before banishment or now. Nakano wasn't getting a hold of her hair though. That was for sure.

END POST | FLASH BLOSSOM WITHER

Wed Jan 27, 2021 9:39 am

ANNUAL MEETING

Artist: n/a - Song: n/a

"I know Rio's not a pushover, that's not what I was saying. You missed the 'protects his sister' portion of what I said." It ticked her off somewhat that Yugiri just took that one part and ran with the "Chidori is awful" narrative. If anything she was complimenting Rio. Is that was people were talking about when people said Chidori focuses too much on what people say? Maybe she really was taking too much after her father. It was worrying.

"I would put her back to sleep but she just had her nap." Chidori had a feeling that Yugiri wasn't very keen on dealing with children. She was once a kid but didn't know how to interact with kids, it was kind of funny really. Chidori chuckled as she watched her sister stare at her daughter. "It'll be fine, trust me. Just give her a chance, I think you two would be close." Yushiro had started to stir as well, though unlike his sister he woke up crying, upset about something.

"Just be glad you didn't get this one." Chidori spoke with annoyance but she still did love Yushrio despite his antics. The mother started rocking and bouncing him in her arms, though he continued to wail.

Wed Jan 27, 2021 9:52 am

Yugiri

"Of course. It sure must be frustrating to have things you say twisted or out of context."

She said, still jaded by Chidori's earlier words towards her. The child was the more confusing thing, so what if she just slept. It's not like you can't just keep sleeping right? It's like waking up and then rolling over and continuing to sleep.

The answer to the question thought was simple, "Maybe when she's older." It was the typical Yugiri response. It wasn't confirming nor denying anything, but it was also derived from the fact she would prefer if the baby was older. This wasn't something she figured she'd be good at. Both mothering children and just taking care of them as well.

"Mmm. Can't you stick something in his mouth?"

A pacifier. Not that she'd admit she didn't know their names. Just that babies got them stuck in their mouths and stopped crying. Her eyes stayed fixed on Nanako, daring her to start crying along in chorus.

END POST | FLASH BLOSSOM WITHER

Wed Jan 27, 2021 10:35 am

ANNUAL MEETING

Artist: n/a - Song: n/a

"It's one thing to take words out of context, another to focus on the words chosen. It's a skill you should learn if you want to get far in life, as there are people out there who will try to trick you and con you right under your nose. There are people out there who want to see you fail, and the moment you fail they'll be the first to yell about it, attack you. They'll take everything you've done and burn it to the ground, then start looking for someone else to take your place." This passive-aggressive back and forth was most likely going to continue for a while, despite Chidori not wanting to argue. In reflection, maybe she messed up earlier, hurt Yugiri in some way. Perhaps she should apologize later when she got the chance if she gets the chance. The stress was starting to get to her, hell its gotten her for weeks now. Se just didn't want that to destroy her bonds.

With enough movement, Yushiro finally calmed down and started grabbing at his mother, playing with anything she had on her person, whether it be her clothes, her hair, her fingers, or her breasts. He just made himself busy and wasted time away. "I mean I could have, but that's a quick solution to an even easier problem. It just takes a little patience and diligence. One day, if any, when you become a mother maybe you'll understand. But to sum it up, these two aren't just a chore to me. They're my blood. When we were little I didn't just watch you sulk in your wheelchair and figure that some toy would fix your situation. No, I went out and played with you, I talked with you, we became friends." Reminiscing had caused her to get emotional as he was then reminded of their current situation.

"Though it seems like a rift is starting to develop between us."

Wed Jan 27, 2021 11:16 am

Yugiri

"Focusing on parts of something is still twisting the meaning. You're really bold to feel like you need to warn me about these things. I don't travel the nice or safe parts of Earth and I was the one who dealt with the clan politics far more than you ever did. May you never let the stress and frustrations overcome you and find yourself at the mercy of someone like the Captain Commander. Mistakes have consequences after all and she's lacking in mercy, it's what I got after all."

She stated. Abalia was ruthless, far more manipulative than she was before as well. It was not just a matter of beating her down and belittling her in that conversation, it was a matter of selecting her, isolating her in her own territory and then letting her slip up before destroying her entirely. It hurt her to remember, it hurt more to think that Abalia was everything she once aspired to be. She wondered if Chidori had even interacted with Abalia in proper yet.

Yugiri's attention returned to the little boy, then back to his more docile sister. Back and forth a few more times. Eventually yielding and letting the baby play with her pinky finger, she didn't have a smile though. It was more like the constant scowl she used to wear but the baby didn't need to worry about that when she had a finger to play with.

"...And then you looked at me like a hollow. Didn't want to talk to me, didn't want to touch me or play with me. Didn't even try to understand when I tried to explain why and acted as though I might as well have been the person that killed your mother, right?"

She finished those events for her. Letting her niece harmlessly suck on her finger while watching Chidori.

"I assume that might have something to do with a rift forming but I guess I should just forget that part, right? I'm sure you liked me deep down but didn't know how to deal with my choice. It wasn't like it was easy, do you think I would've done it if I thought I had any other way to walk Chidori? I didn't want to be treated like a hollow then, I wanted to be reminded I wasn't one."

Her eyes grew watery again at the end when she remembered her accident of almost killing one of the servants when she first achieved shikai due to the hollow influence. An accident that made her wonder if she really was a hollow or not for a long while afterwards and refusal to use her zanpakuto despite the pain that caused it.

END POST | FLASH BLOSSOM WITHER

Wed Jan 27, 2021 11:30 pm

ANNUAL MEETING

Artist: n/a - Song: n/a

A weak chuckle escaped her lips.

"I didn't want to argue but look at where we are." The more that she tried to avoid it the more she had to say. The more that Yugiri brought up, the more that Chidori wanted to prove her wrong. By now, she was at her limit.

And then she burst.

"You know what? Yeah, that's probably what's making the rift. If it was just you that killed my mother, I would just be angry, not confused, and disappointed as well. If you just killed my mother it would have been an open-shut case: you were just fucking crazy. But no, you couldn't look past your own disability and became obsessed with everything opposite of it. You couldn't deal with the mountain that was your legs, you couldn't climb it to see the wonder that is all life had to offer on the other side. So what did you do? You cut corners. You cut THE BIGGEST FUCKING CORNER to chop the entire mountain down!" Her yelling had set Yushiro on edge and caused him to start crying. Unfortunately, he was going to have to wait until Chidori was done with her rant.

"Yugiri, I tried. Believe me, I fucking tried. But every time I would see you walk, it just reminded me I was no longer just getting Yugiri, I was getting Yugiri plus 1. And I get you had no other way, and I get that this was something you really wanted but... but..."

"You found that you could, but never thought if you should. It's past the point of no return now. No longer can I treat you like just Yugiri because you are no longer, just Yugiri. Hell, it'd be a stretch to say you're Yugiri. The Yugiri I used to know was meek, appreciative, kind. I'm not saying you still aren't those things, I just never got to see them again. On that day, you gained the ability to walk. And it felt like I lost my sister."

"I-I...." She burst into tears as well, unable to keep the pent up stress and emotion under wraps any longer. For sure she had said some things she regrets, and some things that she will regret, but it was a response that was provoked. Chidori had conditioned herself to deal with all sorts of situations that would be thrown at her but yet, here, she took the bait hook, line, and sinker. If only her naysayers saw her now, they'd think their leader was weak. A woman who can't even keep her emotion in check. Sure she walks around with this tough exterior, but deep down she was still Chidori.

Through her tears, she attempted to keep Yushrio quiet. "I want to say that's the end, but it's not. You're family, always have been. Just because you changed didn't mean I didn't try to accommodate. If you met pushback from me, it wasn't because I didn't like you, I was just trying to get to know you all over again. Let's be honest here, even if you don't think so, you were different before and after. Trying to approach you as the Yugiri I knew only led to hostility, so I just tried to think of you as a different person. A sibling, but just not my Yugiri. Was that wrong of me, sure. But I'm only one person, I'm only human."

"Hell, if I got everything right maybe my parents wouldn't be dead. Maybe we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Maybe I could be the older sister you looked up to instead of one you loathe."

Thu Jan 28, 2021 12:59 am

Yugiri

"I think you did, I think you did want this because being passive aggressive to get your point across until the person in question reacts is the only way you know how to create an opening to talk about these things. I mean, surely it cannot be everyone else's fault you clash with them? There's a point where you can't seriously delude yourself that everyone else is wrong and you're right. If that's so you might as well call yourself as arrogant as I was."

She stated at her. Yugiri's tone wasn't icy or malicious. It could be interpreted as reprimanding though.

"Yeah. I'm a sellout. I decided to reject my flaws but Chidori, I accepted that the moment I made that choice and I would do it, again and again if you made me repeat it. I don't care if it was the wrong choice to you, it was my choice. You don't ever get the right to act like you knew what my life was like then reprimand me and judge me for choosing to walk. You hypocrite."

The had lifted the baby up, more in line with resting on her shoulder and ignoring the fact her hair was getting pulled and played with.

"What did you do again when it all became to much for you? I remember. You ran away, it sure must be hard when life is hard, stressful and the one you're presented with isn't one you want but it's okay to lecture me about cutting corners?"

It baffled her. The expression on Yugiri's face couldn't even be described as anger or rage. It was just pure confusion. She never wanted people's pity, rather she loathed people pitying her but she felt like whatever trials Chidori had gone through surely couldn't equate to her?

"Why do you say it like it was easy? I just heard about it one day and jumped right into it? The question of whether or not I should plagued me all the way up until after it was done and more after. I just don't understand though, you never wanted me to grow? You just wanted me to sit in here and rot like I had for my whole life because you liked me more as the crybaby who had no hope for herself? Are you even hearing yourself Chidori? How's it my fault because I grew up!?"

It hurt more than the thoughts of being hit, more than being blamed and more than being banished. This was the cause of her headaches, her stress and experiences of being treated so different because the Yugiri that Chidori wanted was not the Yugiri that she wanted to be.

"Yeah. Of course it did. I didn't want to be treated like I was helpless. If I wanted to be treated like that I'd have just been content to sit there depressed all my life. Why don't you get it? I wanted to be like you and Rio, I didn't want to be the baby that couldn't do anything. Of course, I'm going to be bitter and hostile when I sold every little bit of dignity I had to be treated like you both and instead all I got was more of it with the addition of now being looked at like I wasn't even a person anymore."

She got closer, advancing to try and back Chidori up against a wall while juggling an upset baby at how angry her tone was at her sister and bouncing her. There was more she wanted to say, so much more. Her tone was full of anger her eyes were very passionate about them. It wasn't just insulting her or trying to tear her down for some satisfaction.

"...Stop with the pity. It's unbecoming of the Shihoin family's leader to pity herself. You're just looking at your mistakes and never growing up to not make them again and if you keep looking around for someone to blame then you'll not watch where you're going and fall off a cliff, except since you're the Head now, if you fall then everyone falls."

As dramatic as the last part was the message was hopefully clear. Letting yourself get consumed in loathing, blaming others or even just losing sight of things. Even for a minute could have her trip and unlike before, Yugiri felt like she needed to put the weight on her that no one was going to bail her out this time. If Yushiro had made the error Yugiri did to get banished? That wouldn't have just been Yugiri falling down, that would've been the whole family.

Her hands came out, looking to swap babies. It only seemed right to at least hold her nephew in case she struggled to keep her cool and walk out on her.

END POST | FLASH BLOSSOM WITHER

Thu Jan 28, 2021 2:01 am

ANNUAL MEETING

Artist: n/a - Song: n/a

If there's one thing anyone should know about Chidori it's that she hates being lectured. Despite this, she listened. Chidori said what she wanted, and Yugiri got to respond. Though she was having an emotional breakdown, Chidori stood her ground when things got heated. She glared back at Yugiri with tears in her eyes. For the most part, she listened, all except the last.

"No."

"I should be allowed to feel bad for myself. At the end of the day, when you strip away my title, my family, my powers, everything that I am. At the end of the day, all I'll be left with is myself and my emotions. A leader shouldn't show weakness, but that doesn't mean they can't be weak. You wanna hear something funny? Here's how my life has been for the past few weeks: I wake up, take care of my children, I go to work at the barracks, I come home, I prepare myself for meetings, I take care of my children, eat, go to sleep, repeat. And you know what, I frankly find it horrendous. I've given up my right to be myself and now I'm just a servant to whoever needs me. Now I'm not going to run away from my responsibilities, because that wouldn't be fair to everyone who relies on me, but it's a fact of my life now."

"Sure, as a leader I shouldn't complain. I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't do that. And frankly, if I'm told I can't do one more thing I'm going to kill myself." There was pain beind these words, but truth as well. Chidori was finally able to calm Yushiro down once more and handed him to Yugiri. Right now she was at her most vulnerable, a side that only Sol has seen.

"That's not exactly what I mean but you get the jist. It's always about what I do, how I do it, and how I look while getting it done. My emotions, my well-being? Never come into question. Everyone wants me to be like Papa, and I'm just swalled by the shadow of that man no matter where I walk. He's always put other before himself, so I should to. He always carried the Shihoin with pride no matter where he went, so should I. Everyone looks to me for answers like they did to him, but..."

"I don't always have the answers. I could go searching for years and I may never get these answers. But I can't just tell them that! That's not what they want to hear. I'll never be able to tell them." She lost the will to stand up, her brain totally exhausted from everything happening at the moment. Chidori placed Nakano on the ground and let the child roam around the room while she just sat on the floor, staring off in the distance. "You know in my dreams, the only place I get to myself anymore, in my dreams I wonder. I wonder about so many things, what my kids think of me, if Sol still hates me, if Rio wants my spot, if there's a way to fix what we used to have. I wonder what I'm living for, what kind of life is worth living if I live only for others, what kind of legacy I'd leave behind if I died right now. Would anybody care? Would anyone show up to my funeral?"

"You said I won't know when I fall off the cliff, but what if I'm already falling. What happens when I hit the ground?"

"..."

"When will I hit the ground?"