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|Subject Post 21Subject: Re: An Ill-Fitted Puzzle [Tsurugi/Saiko] Thu Jun 10, 2021 3:02 pm|| |
His dark eyes laid on her, his gaze then following her hand as she would lay a comforting touch on his shoulder. His instincts raked his senses, but he had less of a physical reaction to such a touch than before, blinking softly as he processed her reassuring words, that it was alright to be wary around some. Well, he knew his perception wasn't entirely wrong, but... He felt such high, dense, natural guards when it came to others, wondering at times if he was going about it right, or if he was tensing himself for nothing.
"It has been... Difficult to do so."
He looked down, despite his scarred face and sharp eyes, he probably would look comparable to a sad child who lost their toy to the woman as he would speak,
"I have attempted to create connections here, but I often times... Make others uncomfortable, it seems. I have not been able to create the attachments I see daily, even within my own squadron. It makes me... Think I am just viewed as a lonely beast, intended to be left monstrous and mysterious."
He still didn't meet her gaze, as he would sigh softly before continuing,
"I am used to witnessing, not participating, in such relationships. What you would call.. A heart? I believe it has been closed. Perhaps... That, is why others do not wish to be around me? Because they can see something I cannot? Though, I had grown complacent in it being shut - Mother said perhaps it was better I were cold and distant... So I would not be as easy to harm."
He would rub the back of his head, appearing deeply uncomfortable with speaking his mind, but he did so regardless, putting a little faith into this... "Exchange",
"She did always say it would have been harder for me to do any work if I let these... Sensations, run free. And there, in the Rukongai, work was living."
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|Subject Post 22Subject: Re: An Ill-Fitted Puzzle [Tsurugi/Saiko] Fri Jun 18, 2021 6:47 pm|| |
[CLICK THE POSTING MUSIC IN THE YOUTUBE BAR]
THE MISTRESS OF GLUM
Saiko kept digesting the words of his heart as such sentiment started to bleed out in their world. For this reason is why the male find himself slowly becoming chilled around her presence. As, at the end of the day, her power did feed on depression, grief and anxiety. These shackles of the mind were like food of the soul and she was a creature meant to consume this heartache from others so that she herself would have utility in the world, and so that other spirits in this world could have the ilk chaining them in pain be released.
Along these lines of thought, the woman could feel a great disconnect forming in the male as he was on his own, a lone wolf, and left to his own devices because of his outward appearance. Yet, to her, all she saw was a man who was lonely, confused, uncertain, and trying to find strength in a chaotic world that seeks to make him sink in his own unrealized despair. Henceforth, Saiko continued to leave her hand atop his as her own aqua aura flowed around the two like a soothing stream of energy meant to take the strain away from his mental discomfort. "Then try harder not to be a lonely beast. Show them that you are more than just your outward appearance. You don't seem that terrifying to me. You just haven't been taught to open up properly or how to navigate the world socially. And...that's ok."
The woman nodded her head before taking a moment to pause before mulling over her own sentiments of the heart and what to say to the man. "People are like trees: they want to root themselves to something. If you leave your heart closed, then there isn't anything they can attach themselves to and they find another land to lay their roots in. So if you want to become more fertile and attract people, you may need someone to help you open that heart so you can be connected and form your own roots in this world."
With a slight oceanic blush across her pale cheeks, the woman let out a soft laugh before moving forward."I hope that didn't sound...loopy, but even I myself am going through that process and just accepting it's gonna be ugly. And I think we can both help each other navigate the awkwardness of opening our hearts, don't you agree?"