Re: Forging a Finer Blade [Private | Serenity]

Thu Dec 21, 2017 4:29 am

TEN THOUSAND SWORDS

ERIKA MASAMUNE

Forging a Finer Blade [Private | Serenity] - Page 2 6EdIfMt

When the girl heard Midori's response her heart was pounding she couldn't determine if it was excitement or still worry, as though just hearing this woman say her fears would not happen made her positive they wouldn't.

"The perfect moment..."

She drifted off with her comment, trying to think of a situation where it would be appropriate to call Tsubine Mum. Hell she was planning how she could make one of these "perfect moments". She had almost missed it in her thoughts. Her eyes seemed to snap back to reality when she heard Midori's comment about not being able to answer.

Has she never kissed a boy? Is she into girls!? Has she kissed anyone? How is that possible she's so pretty.

Erika was not surprised, she was shocked. She had thought most people after a few centuries would have had at least one kiss which made her feel so embarrassed although she was aware she had asked about kissing boys. To Erika that could mean girls were more of Midori's interest. In the time her thoughts kept their disbelief and questions up Midori would have time to finish but the girl didn't miss a single word of the Captain's wisdom.

It seemed quite fine, until she found a question directed at her. She was pretty calm at the moment and so it took her a little by surprise since she had not expected such a question. It was not a thing she was ever really asked about, her sexuality that is, and so her reaction was anything but calm. In fact she looked a little ill, her heart was pounding and her face had gone red and she was breathing quite rapidly as she looked around at anything but the Captain's eyes. Did she know about that one time?

"uh... Um, why do you ask? I... I like guys okay? Why would I like women?"

She let her pathetic answer hang in the air, it sounded incredibly unconvincing, even for the most ignorant of people they could probably tell that Erika had something hidden about that or refused to accept something even - homosexuality was something she had come to accept with Tsubine as a mentor and mother figure to teach her but before that she found same-sex relations wrong and a quick question of her own would try to push Midori off the subject even though it was a problem for her.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?"

Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s

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Thu Dec 21, 2017 5:29 am

TEN THOUSAND SWORDS

ERIKA MASAMUNE

She had found herself admiring Midori, there was something about her that seemed pure, like a pretty flower that it should be considered an atrocity to defile in any way. The woman had so quickly proven to Erika these traits which made her feel this adoration and respect to her. That's what Midori was, she was a flower that Erika admired and wanted to strive to be like.

It wasn't long though before it had been turned once again onto her sexuality and that unease returned to her thoughts. The young woman didn't want to speak about it, although the woman opposite her made an excellent point she could not ignore. Looking around sheepishly she would move around so she was sitting right next to the woman so she could speak quietly. She couldn't believe she was actually going to speak and for a long moment she stayed awfully silent with her hands clenched extremely tight on her exposed thighs.

"I don't know. I should be attracted to men, but I've never felt anything for another person physically. I'm was always so busy Midori and I never took notice of people, I'd have those urges though, it wasn't like I was never... I don't know the word, and either way I shouldn't speak about that. I've just never found another person attractive and desired them is all except..."

She cut off and bit her lip quite hard although not enough to draw blood. When she finally felt comfortable enough to say it she'd lean up and face Midori - obviously trying to whisper it to her - and try to say it to her ear very quietly, even this close the captain would likely barely hear it.

"Except.... Tsubine..."

With that said she pulled away and looked away, just waiting for Midori to laugh or say something. She might have even be a little disgusted about Erika liking the woman with their mother-daughter relationship and when she realised this she turned around and put her hands up and tried to continue.

"It was before all this, it was when we first met and she trained me and I was all alone with her and all that and I felt like I loved her... and we kissed, it wasn't like a kiss a mother and daughter should do. I had dreams okay, lewd and bad dreams with her and it felt wrong and I don't know. It's so confusing, I don't know how to answer your question Midori. Is there something wrong with me?"

She looked ashamed, head down towards her lap and her hands gripping the fabric of her attire quite tightly, she felt like this woman was to good for her. Telling this woman all these things about her like she was confessing sins and she couldn't even answer her question!

Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s

Thu Dec 21, 2017 7:57 am

TEN THOUSAND SWORDS

ERIKA MASAMUNE

Sitting next to Midori she wanted to hug her, like doing so would let her sweep this entire thing under the rug and never pull it aside. It would leave Erika looking down and ashamed for a bit, even when spoken to she avoided eye contact. She had told this woman something that she figured if it got back to her mother she'd get in some rather deep trouble, how could Tsubine ever trust her again after knowing Erika spilled her guts about that to her CLOSEST FRIEND!? She suddenly wanted to take it all back, was it really such a good idea coming to see Midori.

"How will books and movies help me? I'll take your word for it though Midori. Can... can you promise that you won't tell Tsubine? Please don't bring it up to her, I've never told anyone and I don't think she has either and I don't want her knowing about me saying anything. Please?"

She looked desperately at Midori at this point, she had even reached up to grab the other woman's arm tightly with her face basically begging her.

"and I don't feel that way anymore... it was one time, I just don't know I've never really tried anything with anyone, except that but I'm scared Midori. What if I love someone more than Tsu like she did, I don't want to do what she did! Maybe I'm not cut out for romance, but I don't feel comfortable with doing all those things unless I feel something but I just don't know how I feel about people. Can't you help me? Isn't there some medicine or kido that can help?"

Erika leaned into lay against her shoulder and looked at the table, as she waited for some more of that wisdom that Midori seemed so full of.

Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s

Sat Dec 23, 2017 11:04 pm

TEN THOUSAND SWORDS

ERIKA MASAMUNE

As the time ticked on and the words that Erika wanted to hear never came there was a small feeling of frustration and betrayal with Midori. All she had to do was promise her but she couldn't which was really honourable but still, it was finalised when the older woman continued with the next words and her entire request had been looked over. She got back up and moved to sit where she was previously, she had only moved to tell the woman her secret and she wanted to move away knowing that Midori couldn't promise to keep it.

"I suppose I will practice then. I just, maybe I don't want romance or maybe I can't"

She laid her head in her arms on the cool stone table, she was incredibly hurt that she didn't have confidence in confiding in this woman. That and she was just feeling very down from the idea she knew so little, she didn't like socialising it was simple as that. She was happy to just be by herself and avoid everyone which is the way it has always been in her life except with Tsubine.

"I don't want to get close to people though Midori. Everyone just seems to die when they get close to me, the only person who's not dead is Tsubine. I just bring bad luck."

She felt her eyes water a bit, the topic was one she didn't like to bring up since it reminded her of so many people that she cared about who died and it just disheartened her to keep trying. She felt like a bad omen and her presence brought terrible ends to people but at the same time this topic was something she felt she'd rather bring up than continue on about social skills and romance she just kept focusing on the fact that Tsubine would probably know about what she said.

Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s

Mon Dec 25, 2017 3:22 pm

TEN THOUSAND SWORDS

ERIKA MASAMUNE

The woman's words were to be expected and if Erika was a standard teen and Midori was the adult in the twenty-first century then it would seem ridiculous to say just knowing someone would get you on Fate's hit list. This however was not the twenty-first century and even so it was a world connected to the spirit and magical phenomenon. Erika was sure there were things that did what she was describing. Even so she stayed silent and looked into the distance with her head in her arms while in contemplation.

I should tell her. I really should but...

She had only told Tsubine briefly of these people that died, there wasn't even any names or features. It was purely the simple statement that Erika was the reason they died. The was that factor which didn't couple well with her feeling that there was no longer any confidentiality or confidence in this relationship with Midori.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore, Tsu's probably wondering where I am anyway so I'm just going to leave Midori. I'm sorry I wasted all your time just because I was lonely. It won't happen again."

It could very well much be said that for Midori to let the girl go would be quite negative for the two of them down the track although Erika genuinely found it so much harder to talk which was the same with her mother and why she didn't want to talk to Tsubine. She hated making people worry or telling them something was wrong and she had just made herself in the spotlight for her mother if Midori spoke to her.

I'm such an idiot, she got me to talk so much... she played me like a violin and I just kept that tune. Why did I think I could trust her? Why did I think I could talk to Tsubine's best friend and expect her to keep it confidential.

If Midori did let her go then Erika would go back to her room solemnly and stay there for quite some time.

Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s