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- CarterThe Game
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Re: A Day at the Dojo [Carter/Hana]
Wed Mar 11, 2020 9:26 pm
Artist: Poets Of The fall - Song: Carnival of Rust - Word Count: 551
What a roller-coaster of emotions this woman was turning into, he couldn't read her thoughts exactly but he could feel what she was feeling, a feeling of doubt, anger that very quickly was washed away by something else, a cascading of shame, sadness, and something he couldn't quite place. As these emotions washed down on him like a tidal wave he couldn't help but let out a pent up breath, "You have nothing to be sorry for, I was in the wrong. I... I thought I was helping you deal with whatever you're going through but in turn I just brought out a fury you have been repressing. I'm so sorry for acting so foolishly. Please, catch your breath and have some tea with me." he said, his golden eyes never leaving her face as his voice came out soft and low. He felt like an idiot for pushing her and he only himself to blame. Her reactions were warranted and he earned that punch to the face.
" I don't know exactly what you've gone through or what you are going through but I have met someone with such a whirlwind of emotions once before. Back then I called Animum my friend but ultimately I wasn't there for her when she needed me. I'm not sure who or what you are to me but even a blind man can see you need a friend, I won't push you into telling me what your darkness is but know, for what little it is worth, you made a friend today that won't let you suffer it alone." He said while pouring two cups of jasmine tea. The warm kettle pouring crystal clear steaming water into two pristine tea cups, the light from outside the dojo glinting off their shined glazed edges.
"Don't make me drink alone. I have some sake coming as well to put these events behind us and to warm up the room!" He said with a slight laugh while keeping his look fixed on Hanako.
|Death is but the first step in life|
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Re: A Day at the Dojo [Carter/Hana]
Fri Mar 13, 2020 5:21 am
It took Hanako quite a while to get a hold of herself. As far as she knew she had never before cried in her life. Most of her emotions had been bottled up deep inside her and that had been that. And now that this seal was finally broken she didn’t know how to stop it.
Finally, there were simply no more tears left to cry and Hanako calmed down. She sat up, uncovered her face and took a long, shuddering breath. For a few moments she remained like this: sitting on her knees, her upper body straight and her face turned to the ceiling. Some of her hair stuck to her skin, but you couldn’t tell if it was from sweat or tears. Probably both. Herface could be described as beautiful as she sat there, with closed eyes, her cheeks still red, and enjoying the peace that always followed such an outburst.
When she looked at Carter her eyes were still looking a bit glassy, but her cheeks were dry again and her breath going steady.
“Thank you.” she said, almost whispered, as she took the cup of tea.
The lovely fragrance of the jasmine tea was soothing and when she took a sip of it a small and cute gasp of surprise came from her. She had never tasted jasmine tea before. She didn’t know why, the situation just never arose. But the taste was so flattering to her tongue, so light and sweet. If Carter had ordered jasmine tea to help her relax or if it was just coincidence, because he liked it, it worked on Hanako. Her shoulders were visibly less tense after she took a few more sips.
‘Why have I never tried jasmine tea before?’ she thought to herself.
“I...I am really...really sorry. I was way out of line.” she said to Carter aloud. He could hear it was hard for her to admit it but at the same time there was no doubt it was absolutely honest.
“You know...I wasn’t lying, when I said that my life is nothing but darkness. Most of it, anyways. And I mean it literally. When I think back about my past...there’s nothing.”
She shrugged and her smile was rather forced.
“It is something like an open secret, at least it was at the academy. No one talks about it, but a lot of people know about it. The girl with no past.”
She went silent for a few seconds before she talked again.
“Even my name is not my name. I got it from the doctors that cared for me in the hospital. My earliest memory is waking up in a bed, staring at a white ceiling, a nurse looking down at me.”
While she spoke her next words, she made a vague gesture to her head and held her right arm before her, so that Carter could see it and touch it, if he liked. The arm looked no different than the other.
“They told me I was pretty badly injured, when they found me limping towards the gates of Seireitei. See this arm? It’s a prosthetic. The injuries there were so severe that it could not be saved. But I don’t remember anything about that. Everything before the hospital...It is all...simply a black void.”
She shook her head and closed her eyes as an unwanted wave of emotions threatened to wash over her yet again. But the wave was smaller than before and her mind still too exhausted from her breakdown, so she managed it surprisingly easy to keep it at bay.
Hanako sat quiet for a while and tried to loose herself in the smell and taste of the tea, which she spontaneously had fallen in love with. Of course that didn’t work. Now that everything was out in the open, she couldn’t push it away so easily anymore. Why did she tell all this to Carter in the first place? When had they become friends? Well, you could say that someone who takes a punch from you and watches you break down crying without abandoning you could be considered a friend. Someone who stands at your side, even through the darkest of times. But then again, how would Hanako know? She had some acquaintances, but no real friends. Not until now. The thought felt strange. Even stranger than the fact that Hana was actually starting to feel honestly comfortable in the presence of another soul. It wasn’t much, yet, but a real change had happened.
“What was that about sake?” she said and tried another smile. It was still faint, but not so forced anymore.
(788)
Finally, there were simply no more tears left to cry and Hanako calmed down. She sat up, uncovered her face and took a long, shuddering breath. For a few moments she remained like this: sitting on her knees, her upper body straight and her face turned to the ceiling. Some of her hair stuck to her skin, but you couldn’t tell if it was from sweat or tears. Probably both. Herface could be described as beautiful as she sat there, with closed eyes, her cheeks still red, and enjoying the peace that always followed such an outburst.
When she looked at Carter her eyes were still looking a bit glassy, but her cheeks were dry again and her breath going steady.
“Thank you.” she said, almost whispered, as she took the cup of tea.
The lovely fragrance of the jasmine tea was soothing and when she took a sip of it a small and cute gasp of surprise came from her. She had never tasted jasmine tea before. She didn’t know why, the situation just never arose. But the taste was so flattering to her tongue, so light and sweet. If Carter had ordered jasmine tea to help her relax or if it was just coincidence, because he liked it, it worked on Hanako. Her shoulders were visibly less tense after she took a few more sips.
‘Why have I never tried jasmine tea before?’ she thought to herself.
“I...I am really...really sorry. I was way out of line.” she said to Carter aloud. He could hear it was hard for her to admit it but at the same time there was no doubt it was absolutely honest.
“You know...I wasn’t lying, when I said that my life is nothing but darkness. Most of it, anyways. And I mean it literally. When I think back about my past...there’s nothing.”
She shrugged and her smile was rather forced.
“It is something like an open secret, at least it was at the academy. No one talks about it, but a lot of people know about it. The girl with no past.”
She went silent for a few seconds before she talked again.
“Even my name is not my name. I got it from the doctors that cared for me in the hospital. My earliest memory is waking up in a bed, staring at a white ceiling, a nurse looking down at me.”
While she spoke her next words, she made a vague gesture to her head and held her right arm before her, so that Carter could see it and touch it, if he liked. The arm looked no different than the other.
“They told me I was pretty badly injured, when they found me limping towards the gates of Seireitei. See this arm? It’s a prosthetic. The injuries there were so severe that it could not be saved. But I don’t remember anything about that. Everything before the hospital...It is all...simply a black void.”
She shook her head and closed her eyes as an unwanted wave of emotions threatened to wash over her yet again. But the wave was smaller than before and her mind still too exhausted from her breakdown, so she managed it surprisingly easy to keep it at bay.
Hanako sat quiet for a while and tried to loose herself in the smell and taste of the tea, which she spontaneously had fallen in love with. Of course that didn’t work. Now that everything was out in the open, she couldn’t push it away so easily anymore. Why did she tell all this to Carter in the first place? When had they become friends? Well, you could say that someone who takes a punch from you and watches you break down crying without abandoning you could be considered a friend. Someone who stands at your side, even through the darkest of times. But then again, how would Hanako know? She had some acquaintances, but no real friends. Not until now. The thought felt strange. Even stranger than the fact that Hana was actually starting to feel honestly comfortable in the presence of another soul. It wasn’t much, yet, but a real change had happened.
“What was that about sake?” she said and tried another smile. It was still faint, but not so forced anymore.
(788)
- CarterThe Game
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Re: A Day at the Dojo [Carter/Hana]
Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:57 pm
Artist: Poets Of The fall - Song: Carnival of Rust - Word Count: 502
He didn't interrupt at any time as she spoke, while she went on about how her past was a darkness to her and about her academy days. Carter you asshole, you pushed too far at some of her darkest insecurities. He thought while finishing his tea. His golden eyes watched the digits of his hands trace the rim of the porcelain cup. The remaining wisps of the warm beverage hovering off the sides of the container before disappearing into nothingness.
Next his eyes would go to her arm as she held it up, a seamless prosthetic that he hadn't noticed until she made it known to him. It was a damn good arm for him to have not seen its differences from true flesh. A sad smile came to his face when he turned back to give her his full attention. "I'm sorry to hear that Hanako, I wish I could snap my fingers and help to uncover what's hidden from you but I sadly cannot. I can only offer a hand in friendship in your time of need." He wanted nothing more in this moment than to help this woman out in her time of need but had no real way of doing so other than what he had attempted to do by distracting her from the dark cloud of emotions and that had failed.
"Well as for sake, that's more for you than myself. A way to help steady your nerves. I don't partake anymore. What do you recall when your accident happened?" He chuckled before changing back to a serious topic, trying to get the know the woman better while keeping her emotions on the fore front of his mind so he didn't take her over the edge.
|Death is but the first step in life|
- Ame no koExperienced Member
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Re: A Day at the Dojo [Carter/Hana]
Thu Mar 26, 2020 11:16 am
The faint hint of a smile on Hanako's face faded quickly and she became serious. Still calm, but Carter could see on her face, that the topic was unpleasant for her.
"I honestly don't remember a single thing. It is not like something just outside of your reach, or a blurry vision. It is like I said: a void."
Hana closed her eyes and her face became a grimace when she thought back to her first days.
"From when I first woke up to when I could finally be released from the hospital was almost a whole year. After that I attended the academy, graduated and got accepted into the Gotei. Hm, that would be about eight years now. In this eight years I can remember everything that happened just fine. Some things I forget, some come back, but I've been told by the doctors that's just how a normal memory works. But everything before is simply gone."
She sighed and rubbed her eyes with her palms.
"God, I think I've heard every theory in existence as to why I can remember the last eight years just fine but nothing before, plus why I retained such basic skills as language."
She made a vague gesture.
"I...this is..."
She stopped. Hanako felt like she couldn't think straight right in this moment. There was so much going on in her head. One part of her felt relief that she was finally able to talk to someone. Another part felt so vulnerable by this and really didn't like it. A third part was scared that somebody else got so close to her now.
"I am sorry. I can't think straight. This...I never talked to someone about this, except for the doctors. I never wanted to talk about it. All I desired was to get stronger, become someone that deserves respect, someone that can shape a future for herself. I always thought that I have to escape from the void that is my past, have to run faster and worker harder to get away. It still isn't easy to talk about it."
Where did that come from? The part of her that wanted to talk seemed to grow. How strange that was. And then there was a moment of clairity. What she was feeling was like she was hollowed out inside and her shell was everything she was. And this shell was made out of glass or porcelain and so thin that one scratch was enough to shatter it. And when it had shattered, when the shell lay as millions of pieces on the ground, it would become aparent that there was nothing left. This was why she rather kept people at arms length.
She never realised that in such a clarity as she did now. As if she stepped out of herself and watched her from the outside. But was that so wrong? What if that was true? What if there really was nothing else inside? But what if there was?
(509)
"I honestly don't remember a single thing. It is not like something just outside of your reach, or a blurry vision. It is like I said: a void."
Hana closed her eyes and her face became a grimace when she thought back to her first days.
"From when I first woke up to when I could finally be released from the hospital was almost a whole year. After that I attended the academy, graduated and got accepted into the Gotei. Hm, that would be about eight years now. In this eight years I can remember everything that happened just fine. Some things I forget, some come back, but I've been told by the doctors that's just how a normal memory works. But everything before is simply gone."
She sighed and rubbed her eyes with her palms.
"God, I think I've heard every theory in existence as to why I can remember the last eight years just fine but nothing before, plus why I retained such basic skills as language."
She made a vague gesture.
"I...this is..."
She stopped. Hanako felt like she couldn't think straight right in this moment. There was so much going on in her head. One part of her felt relief that she was finally able to talk to someone. Another part felt so vulnerable by this and really didn't like it. A third part was scared that somebody else got so close to her now.
"I am sorry. I can't think straight. This...I never talked to someone about this, except for the doctors. I never wanted to talk about it. All I desired was to get stronger, become someone that deserves respect, someone that can shape a future for herself. I always thought that I have to escape from the void that is my past, have to run faster and worker harder to get away. It still isn't easy to talk about it."
Where did that come from? The part of her that wanted to talk seemed to grow. How strange that was. And then there was a moment of clairity. What she was feeling was like she was hollowed out inside and her shell was everything she was. And this shell was made out of glass or porcelain and so thin that one scratch was enough to shatter it. And when it had shattered, when the shell lay as millions of pieces on the ground, it would become aparent that there was nothing left. This was why she rather kept people at arms length.
She never realised that in such a clarity as she did now. As if she stepped out of herself and watched her from the outside. But was that so wrong? What if that was true? What if there really was nothing else inside? But what if there was?
(509)
- CarterThe Game
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Re: A Day at the Dojo [Carter/Hana]
Wed May 06, 2020 9:09 pm
Artist: Poets Of The fall - Song: Carnival of Rust - Word Count: 544
He listened as she spoke, sipping his tea in a way that he thought portrayed wisdom but in reality made him look like a silly child more than he usually did, " If you desire to get stronger the answer may lay in you not running from your unknown. You may need to embrace that you are not who you were but who you are now has limitless potential still, as limitless as the unknown you of the past." He said while putting his now empty cup down.
"Gotta say, the tea here is great. Odd that, its a dojo but better than any tea shop I have visited in a long time. Sake isn't half bad either." He chuckled while looking at the woman, "I know it's hard for us to admit things to ourselves, hell sometimes we may not even know what we are feeling until we talk to someone but I think you said something important about thinking you HAD to escape your past. Why do you think you need to run from this unknown thing so badly? I say try giving it an embrace and seeing what that does for your inner turmoil."
With that said He groaned and stood up, the blood rushing to his face and new bruise from her hit earlier, a small smile on his face. "Here, I think I like you and would like to check up on you from time to time to make sure you're getting on alright but for now I need to go ice this stinger you gave me and think of how to convert some robots into living beings." He said while peening his contact information before leaving it on the table next to her and walking out, "One last thing, your zanpakuto is more than a sword, take some time to meditate on what it means to you and it might help you figure out what you mean to yourself" He said over his shoulder before walking out of the dojo.
|Death is but the first step in life|
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Re: A Day at the Dojo [Carter/Hana]
Thu May 07, 2020 3:35 am
The Big Woman
Hanako stared at the small piece of paper with Carter’s information for a few moments. And didn’t know what to say. When he started to walk Hana called out to him one last time.
“Carter…” she stopped, unsure for one moment. She had picked up the paper and held it in both hands.
“Thank you. For everything. I’d be happy if...we keep in touch.”
And then he was gone. For some more moments Hanako stood there, motionless, deep in thought. She looked at his contact information. She had made a friend. Somehow she had made a friend by hitting him and acting like a damned fool. It was totally absurd, but there it was. And Hana was thankful. And thoughtful. And ashamed of herself. It confused her profoundly.
When Carter had advised her to embrace that unknown thing inside her, an icy cold shiver went down her spine and fear clawed at her heart. She never ever even thought about embracing the void inside. This nothingness, darker than any night had ever been. It was always there, like an abyss, and of course she alway avoided it. But now, in her somewhat open state of mind right now, she thought about it for the first time in several years, thought about Carter’s suggestion. For a brief moment it terrified her beyond any belief, then she pushed the thought away. She wasn’t ready for that.
A little while later Hanako was dressed and the last thing still waiting on the tatami for her was her sword. She picked it up, found the center of gravity almost instinctively, even while sheathed, and balanced it on one finger. What did it mean to her?
Another thought crossed her mind. She probably would need help.
[THE END]
Coding Altered From: [The Frost]
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