To Drown In A Sweet Dream [Vanyel/Calypso]

Vanyel wasn't one for talking much about his past. Not really because it didn't mean anything to him, or that he didn't care about it -- just because he hated to remember it because it hurt too much. It felt strange to have someone want to hear about his life, what he did -- even if he thought it was fairly normal and oftentimes boring. But...part of him also felt kind of happy that Calypso wanted to hear more about him.

It made him feel appreciated and feel loved, and that was all that he could ask for. Thus, the human smiled warmly as he brought his knees close to his chest, resting his chin on his knees and bringing his jacket just a bit tighter around himself. He chuckled softly as it seemed Calypso also couldn't understand the reasoning behind why his family had thought what he enjoyed was "blasphemous". He gave a light shrug, though started chuckling at Caly's misinterpretation of "grounded".

Lazily reaching over and ruffling her hair, he tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling.

"Well, it ain't fun. In my case, I was just...locked in my room with nothin' to do. No books to read, no games to play, just sit there, alone. It sucked."

The human started to fidget in place, tugging at his shirt collar, mumbling to himself, sliding his jacket off of his shoulders, leaving him in a long-sleeve blue shirt, with a black glove on his right hand.

'Feels like it's getting warmer in here...'

Vanyel's left hand slipped under the right sleeve, lightly scratching at his arm idly, before going back to wrapping his arms around his legs.

"Um, anyway...it was a really small, isolated community, so...I didn't really have a lot of friends that weren't members of my direct family to some degree. I just kept to myself and didn't mention what I felt to anyone, or else someone would snitch on me and I'd get punished. Fuckin' hard-asses..."

Vanyel sighed, unconsciously going back to scratching at his arm, eventually moving up to his neck, the areas slowly turning red from how much he had been gnawing at his skin with his nails. There was some kind of faint stinging in his back, and it was really starting to get warmer in the room...or was it just him? The human shrugged it off, his eyes coming back into a semblance of focus as his voice started to come back to normal, losing its mild slur from before.

"But, I did end up meeting someone there. No idea how they found the little community, but they...were really nice to me. They didn't care about what had been forced down my throat, and they actually enjoyed being around me. We played together, talked, watched TV 'n shit...it was fun."

A gentle smile passed over his face at the memory of his friend. It was something he held onto -- as small as it might have felt to other people. For him, it was a reminder of a better time, when he had someone he could have fun with, instead of the boring day-to-day that he had been subjected to by his family.

But, all good things seemed to come to an end with him...

"Weirdest part was, they were a demon. They thought that the whole thing with my family was ridiculous, too, and we kinda bonded over that. But...my parents eventually found out, and...t-they..."

He stopped abruptly, his lip starting to quiver as he held onto his legs even tighter, lowering his head as tears started to slide down his cheeks.

"...they killed him. I don't know what they did, exorcised him or whatever, but they...they fucking killed him."

Vanyel stopped talking, burying his face in his arms and legs as muffled, brief cries came from him -- that stinging and feeling of heat starting to grow even more prominent as he cried, scratching harder at his right arm.

"Just because he was a fucking demon! What the hell did he even do, huh!? They could have just sent him away and told him never to come back or something like that, but they did...that!"

Rip. Claw. Tear.

Sever.

CUT.

Those were the only words that his mind could process at that moment -- his previous thoughts of his past long since faded into the haze of heat, as well as the emotional pain and physical discomfort he was in. All he could think about was how hot it was, how much he wanted to scratch at his arm, to tear away the pain, how hard it was to breathe with all of this heat.

It was a storm in his mind, flipping from one emotion to the next, and deep down, past the storm, it scared him. His breathing quickly turned to hyperventilating, his fingers digging deeper and deeper into his arm to try and break the skin, to feel the warm crimson trickle down his body -- to feel something other than this hurt that he hated to feel and think about.

It felt his body was on fire, and every part of him itched and burned and HURT, only being brought out of his daze from the sudden feeling of his arm being restrained, and just as he was about to reach for a weapon, or just attack with whatever he could get his hands onto; Calypso screaming his name brought him back, and he froze, offering no resistance as she moved his head up to face her, tears starting to stream down his face all over again.

As she pulled him close to her, holding him tight, the storm finally cleared.

The human's lip quivered as he listened to her, his arms slowly trying to return her embrace. She didn't want him to tear himself apart over it? Nothing he could do?! Bullshit! If he had been more careful, had made sure that nobody heard, knew, or found out, then he'd still be alive! There were plenty of things that he could have done! But...he couldn't get angry at her. Everything else was hurting too much, it was tiring, and how could he ever get angry at her?

Warm, heated tears slid down his cheeks as his body slowly relaxed, his arms going limp at his side.

"I just want my friend back...they took my only real friend away. I just want him back."

Through his blurry vision, he saw more tendrils coming from her, trying to remove his shirt and see why he was scratching his arm. Almost instantly, he moved back, fear and shame quickly taking precedent in his gaze as he frantically tugged his sleeve over his arm, trying his best to keep the right side of his body hidden away. She'd probably already seen it, but he still couldn't stop what had become natural instinct at this point.

But, there was still a part of him that felt like he shouldn't be hiding this. He had put his humanity in her hands -- his life, his trust, everything. So, lowering his head, Vanyel slowly lifted his shirt and set it aside, and slid off the glove on his right hand, revealing the incomplete tattoo given to him so many years ago.

"It's...an irezumi. It's a special style of tattoo in Japan, this one's specific to...the Kudo-kai yakuza clan. Originally, it was a symbol of finally having a family, finally...fitting in, for once. Now, it's just the incomplete mark of a criminal."

Spoiler:

"Stop."

One word, yet it felt like a command. It almost felt nice for her to try and make him feel better, saying he wasn't what he said he was. But, there wasn't anything that could change the fact that he was a criminal. His eyes fell on her hand as she clutched his arm, and Vanyel shook his head.

"Hun, I love you, and I really do appreciate what you're tryin' to say, but...there's nothin' that you can do that changes who I am, and what I've done. I'm not a good person, and I am a fuckin' criminal. There's a damn good reason why I hide this."

Vanyel brought his arms around himself, lowering his head, before slowly inching back over to Calypso. Was it really family? Part of him wasn't sure -- Algos had just referred to him as a 'thing' before, and the only real reason that most people gave a damn about him in the first place was because of the thing locked up inside him: The Phonoi. It wasn't like he was an actual member of the family or anything -- the Eris Seal was the only thing that made him remotely connected to them, and most of them didn't give two shits about him in the first place.

He started to take deeper breaths, feeling that struggle to breathe regularly slowly coming back, and his hands started to tremble, even though the heat hadn't changed. Vanyel slowly inched back toward Calypso as she put her hand on his, leaning close to her and pressing his lips against hers, before laying back, squeezing Caly's hand tightly, his voice significantly lower than before.

"...If you want, I can continue the story. Last time on 'The History of Vanyel Xioyang'...heh."

He trailed off, chuckling lightly. She wanted him to talk more, so talk more he shall -- was one of the only things he was really good at, now was it?