'To what I hold dearest…?' Hanako Yamada
Hanako was honestly and visibly confused by that statement. Her mind would take her...why would hernmind take her to a place with tatami? She couldn't remember any place with traditional tatami floor that held any special significance for her. Of course in Soul Society, especially in Seireitei, there were a lot of houses in a traditional style, but they were all the same to Hanako. Why would she go somewhere here, especially because she was already here. It made no sense.
She awoke from her thoughts when Magnolia first stretched and then walked away. Even her stretching had a certain grace, a hint of power and might. At the same time it was so wonderfully mundane and normal and reminded Hanako that even the most powerful Shinigami of them all were only souls after all.
When Magnolia gave Hanako a smile over her shoulder and beckoned her to follow she hurried to catch up. Her words echoed through Hanako's mind. Of course there was the question what she wanted to show, but first and foremost what she had said about a reason for wanting strength.
Yes, that was something that Hanako had heard before. Strength without purpose wasn't worth a thing. But wasn't strength in itself a purpose? Hanako remembered how weak and useless she felt in these blasted tryouts she took part in before she came to this division. The strength to defend herself. The weak needed to be defended, the strong could defend. But wasn't that what she was here for? To defend? Wasn't that what a shinigami existed for? Defend not only the weak, but the whole of all worlds and it's balance? But that hadn't been her reason to become a Shinigami, at least not the only reason. Shinigami had saved her life. It was an obvious choice, more or less her only choice, since she didn't know anything else back then. The Shinigami were her whole world still. But her reason had changed, slowly, over time. At first there was a feeling of a dept Hanako had to pay back. Then there came an understanding of what Shinigami really were. Finally Hanako had realised that she could use what was given her to be a part of something that was good and right. She could help to maintain the balance and be useful and it would give herself a purpose in return. In a way maintaining the balance of the worlds would also maintain her own world. Her inner self, which was a void. Because she could fill it with a purpose so it wouldn't just collapse in on itself.
While they walked Hanako took a deep breath and said:
"My reason is founded in me being a Shinigami. If I become stronger, if I gain power, I can help, I can be useful. It may sound like a cliche, but I mean it. I want to pull my own weight. Or even more, preferably. Contribute something that matters."
She tried a smile but even to her it felt insecure, so she gave it up real quick. At least her words were actually as confident as they had sounded.
Coding Altered From: [The Frost]