Advent of Despair. [Semi-Open--ask first]. Inami/Arianda]

”So.. It’s okay then?”

The thought found its way through inami’s head as she lay there, the wounds on her forearms bleeding blackened smog. Arianda had done her best to comfort inami, time and time again, there had been nothing but care and kindness that the demon had used persistently to combat the deteriorating state of chaos Inami found herself in. Time and time again Arianda had said that things would be alright, that things could change. That she did not have to be alone anymore. While inami did not believe it to be true, she did believe that Arianda was being sincere. That she sincerely believed that everything could change, for better, rather than for worse. That she believed that their family could mend, if they were not given up on.

”You..”

Inami’s words were still dull as she reached up and caressed Arianda’s jaw. There was nothing sexual about the action, due to how slow, delicate, and still her palm was. It was more akin to an elder sister’s hand resting upon their kin when they were afraid, or a motherly touch. It was clear that Inami didn’t want to harm her, that was was more in control than she had been previously. The soft hiccuping that escaped from Inami’s lips showed she still was hurting, that the pain had not simply ceased. That it was still there, and yet, the Queen couldn’t help but think of something beyond the pain.

”How can you be this noble?”

Inami couldn’t understand in her addled mindstate how another would be willing to go this far for her. She, who was wretched and depraved. Even if she craved to be accepted, she did not truly believe that she was deserving of it. Inami’s emerald eyes were dull, void of emotion, like the eyes of a fish, or still water. They reflected nothing, but instead seemed like bottomless pits that absorbed everything that lay before them within. She desperately wished to understand. She wished to know why

”You off all people know what we are capable of. Yet.. why?”

No longer did the queen ask why it was Arianda that had showed up. Even now as miasmic tears cascaded and dissipated from her face, the queen had accepted that it was not mana, calypso, algos, that had come for her, but rather Arianda. She had accepted it--but she still could not understand why Arianda had come. Why she was unafraid, and so sure that she would not be harmed. When before the question why had been an encompassing question regarding her desolation, now… it was instead a question of confusion.

” I don’t.. Deserve this after all.”

Pain, and misery were her biggest rifts, but now that they had somewhat subsided, the anxiety and uncertainty came flooding into the Queens already fragmented psyche. The fear of being close to others, the fear of being accepted, and the fears of being abandoned once more. They knocked upon the bastion within her mind, and they caused the queens body to tense once more.

” Yet.. why?”

Inami’s question once more bubbled forth from her lips as she gently felt arianda to ensure this was not a figment of her mind--that this was not all just a farce that she had created for herself. The incoherent fragments of dread meshed in with the logical thought processeses that Inami was failing to run through fully. Her rationality was.. Impeded slightly by the negative emotions within her. Yet, she was still able to ask faintly.

” How can you act so selflessly?”

This question was more articulate as Inami’s hands gently coiled around Arianda and she buried herself back within the woman's embrace. A deep exhalation left Inami’s lips as she sobbed faintly. It was ironic. All she had ever wanted for her family was peace, understanding and happiness, but somewhere along the way it had gotten horribly twisted and broken. Now..now that she had something she could lean upon, something as immortal as she was, why was it that it only made the pain of her loss that much greater?

”Why does your kindness make the pain worse?”

Was it because she wished that it had been her family who she could have confided in? Or was it because, much like a person that had been starving for months finally getting food, did she not realize how much her heart had been hurt, until it was finally given a chance to mend?

” I dont understand.”

Inami said softly as she shivered some within Arianda’s embrace. Her mind still not quite capable of processing her grief. Bogged down by all the inconsequential fears, and hindered by the tragedy that continued to plague her.